A Note to the Faithful Wanderer

Welcome, friend! Thanks for meeting me in this space.

I’m a little nervous to be honest. It’s been years since I’ve written for anyone other than myself. I typically write sitting in a comfy houndstooth chair in front of two large picture windows that look out into our backyard. Except when I’m writing, it’s the wee hours of the morning and I can’t see much outside other than my neighbor’s lights switching on to prepare for the day. I turn on my own little lamp and begin to write. Most recently, I’m putting pen to unlined paper that’s been adorned with pressed marigolds and bound in a beautiful cover with Hindi script. (I love beautiful journals and love shopping ethically!) I write prayers, usually. My journals are essentially a diary of prayers that come from a stream of consciousness, often including unexplainable anxieties, confessions of envy or bursts of irritability, and reflections of thanksgiving for all the simple and good things in my life. I write my soul’s aspirations and even to-do lists, quotes from a book I’m reading, and questions, frustrations or meditations after reading Scripture.

I wish I could say I write until my heart’s content before folding my journal closed and blissfully beginning my day. Instead, I usually stop when I hear pitter patters from a bedroom above me, then footsteps slowly coming down the stairs, until a certain child scurries across the living room floor into my arms and onto my lap. So, now I’m trying something new. While I still plan to begin my day in solitude with pen and paper, today I am sitting on my bed with the late afternoon sun streaming through my window and I hear a babysitter downstairs playing “Sleeping Queens” and “Mother May I” with my children. I’m clicking on the keys of my laptop, trying to figure out what on earth it is I’m really going to create in this space, and I realize it may not be so different from what I typically write day to day in my paper journal. You ought to know that I feel the weight of my words, though, because I also realize I’m not only writing for myself right now. I am writing here for you, too.

I also suppose you should know a little more about me, and I hope to spend enough time together to learn more about you. I am an enthusiastic 37 year old wife and homeschooling mother, a steadfast daughter, sister, and friend. (It goes without saying that I fall wildly short in each of these very special and important roles.) I’ve lived my lifetime devoted to the pursuit of Christ, never actually wavering in my belief about who Jesus said He is, but continually wrestling with the enormity of who God is and what it means for me to walk with Him faithfully. I’ve lived with the privilege and handicap as a preacher’s daughter, know what it is to feel as if I’m making my bed in the depths of hell but experiencing the love of God with me, more so then. As a special educator and therapist, I’ve experienced the transformative love of God as I’ve cared for sexual predators and a sociopath, and I have trusted in God’s redemption as they’ve met death or lived on with their demons. I’ve celebrated the life of my friend who, after losing hope and taking his own life, I imagined running, healed and whole, into the arms of his Creator. I don’t recall a day of salvation. I’ve experienced my lifetime being saved from myself while believing, pursuing, questioning, and longing for the Hope of Glory, Christ in me. It’s my life passion to continue to build up and pass on a legacy of faith to my children and their children, and maybe you and yours, too.

I write to create space marked by honesty, humility, and hope: a space that enlivens our faith as we recall and share stories from our messy pasts and in our day to day, pointing to the constant presence and faithful love of God. It’s a space not to master but wonder at the majesty and mystery of the Gospel. It’s a space for those who pursue a singular Truth, however elusive it may seem. For the ones who want to hold fast to the heritage of faith they believe is good, as broken as it may be. Or the ones simply seeking something good and true. It’s a place to rest in stories of hope and to inspire you to share your own stories to continue the living message of the Gospel.

You may have deeply felt beliefs rooted in the God of the universe and hope in His Son made flesh, but you still have questions. While I’d love to offer rock solid answers, I’ll instead offer space to both wrestle and rest. We may not find the answers we are looking for, but I’ll faithfully seek them with you. I cannot promise sound theology, although I value it and desire to hold it. The space here is your invitation to wander freely in the vastness of God and wonder at the mystery of Christ, to look for the big and small ways He’s wanting to reveal Himself to you. I’ll meet you in this space each week to remind you that you are deeply loved, as you are, where you are.

J.R.R. Tolkien offers solace for our journey:

“All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.”

It’s my hope that we deepen our roots here, my friend. I pray you find an anchor for your soul in the stories marked by Mystery.

Peace to you.

Tricia